Relationship jokes
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.
So she gave me a hug.
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.