Relationship jokes

Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”

Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”

Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”

Ex-girlfriend: “20!”

Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name

I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?

'Cause they are just boys.

What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!

Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.

Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.

Man's got that big bati, you know.

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

What did the toaster say to the bread?

"I want you inside me!"

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."

Why did the booty break up with the fart?

It was just too much GASLIGHTING.