What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Relationship Jokes
Dmitriy has no mother.
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""
Thanks a lot, Gwen!
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!
Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
