Relationship jokes

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha

Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?

'Cause they are just boys.

Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.

My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.

We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"

Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”

Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”

Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”

Ex-girlfriend: “20!”

Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name

What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!

Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.

Man's got that big bati, you know.

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

"Hey, is that a peach?"

*gets slapped on the butt*

"Noted."

It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)