Relationship jokes

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

Wanna make out, Explain Bear?

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"

"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.

CJ and Declan's Relationship!

Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

"What is your number?" "Hi."

Q: Why did the chip run away?

A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.

If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."

Your mom gay, Evan.

Mom hot.

What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?

You're my boo!

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

Your mom gay.

Love you.

What is the similarity between women and freezers?

We like to put our meat in them.

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.