Relationship jokes

My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.

You're dumb, but that's not what she said.

Dad fucked Mom.

Mom fucked son.

Son fucked sister.

Sister fucked dog.

Dog fucked cat.

Cat fucked bird.

Bird fucked fish.

Fish fucked Dad.

Dad really liked it!

I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?

Your mum!

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

Ur dad is mad.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

When an African has a twin, your me??

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"

There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.