Relationship jokes
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
When an African has a twin, your me??
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
Memes
Very fine
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
You're so hot!
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.