Relationship jokes
My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
What’s the difference from me and a gay person? You.
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
Your mum!
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Ur dad is mad.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Hey Stacey, love!
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.