Relationship jokes
Gwen, please just come back. I love you and I miss you so much!
Hello.
Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Momma?
Momma who?
Big Momma!
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
Chat date for Gwen and Tj.
Hi, I'm a girl gamer looking for a hot bf.
She really sucks, and the guy who is with her sucks too.
Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.
Like the faker Gwen?
Mom!
Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...