Relationship jokes
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Why are all lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?
She is the only one that calls me "lamo."
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
My mum.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.