Bros jokes

Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.

The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?

Super Smash Bros.

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

Bros got barcode arms.

Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.

Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏

Comedian: WTF bros!

Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?

An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.

So I told him he was on my cock.

(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)

Bros over hos.

Why is Broly always mad?

Answer: His bros dead.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?

Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?

Let me tell you a story.

There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.

He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.

He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.

One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?

Experience.

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."