A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Relationship Jokes
Your mom is a joke.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Gwen, please just come back. I love you and I miss you so much!
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call daddy.
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
