Relationship jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

People love you.

Don't die.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.

I'm serious, what's a "dad?"

My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.

My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.

Ha Ha Ha

I thought it was funny.

Dear uncle, I want my condoms.

So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."

Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?

Anal sex is for A**holes.

Your mom gay.

Ur mum gay, lul.

My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!

I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.

Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?

Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?

Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

What am I doing?

Your mom.