Relationship jokes

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?

Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.

Why did the bee get married?

Because she found her honey.

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

Gwen pegs Xavier.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?

My brother didn’t beat cancer.

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.