Relationship jokes
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
What song does an orphan hate?
"We Are Family."
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.
oOO laLA!
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.