Relationship jokes
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
Say, "Moommy."
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
"What is your number?" "Hi."
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.