Relationship jokes

What is a boyfriend?

How much cum does a gay guy have?

An ass loaded.

"I love you 😘" was the night you got a iiooooo.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

Why was the kid sad?

He was adopted.

I don't want to date an alien.

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

If I adopt a child, is it mine?

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😳

Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."

What's the difference between you and your mom?

I slept with your mom.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!

Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?

He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.

He's now my sister.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.