Relationship jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The third one's for you.

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

"Send me back, I never liked you."

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?

My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?

After all these walkers, you still walk over me.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

Like and comment if you will be my friend!

Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...

What's the difference between me and you?

I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!

I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭

The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.