Relationship jokes
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
His wife shut off the internet.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Your mom gay.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.