Relationship jokes

My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.

FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

LONELY ORPHAN: :(

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

You were amazing... Sike I lied, that pussy is dry.

I fucked your girl.

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

Lady: I am going to come to your house.

Man: Ok.

An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

Man: You are going to cum to my house!

And then he fucks her.

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.

I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

I’m breaking up with you, bitch.

Why don't butts get along?

Because they can't stand each other's cheek!

The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

Like and comment if you will be my friend!

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.