Relationship jokes
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.