Relationship jokes

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

LONELY ORPHAN: :(

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

Gays: I like men.

Straight: I like women.

Bisexual: A hole is a hole.

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?

Because he is a family doctor.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."

Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.

Technoblade never got a wife.

Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.