Relationship jokes

61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.

I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.

Jimmy: Your mom is gay.

Me: No, you.

Jimmy: I have no mom.

Why did my dad leave me?

Because I was gay.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

What does a lesbian call the other during sex?

Mummy.

Mom! (DYM 3)

I have a girlfriend.

din mamma

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:

"I’m here for the new position?"

Words that have "ho" in them:

Thot

Whore

Asshole

Horrible

Horena (my ex gf)

Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?

From the mace.

Gays: I like men.

Straight: I like women.

Bisexual: A hole is a hole.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

Mom

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is.”