Relationship jokes
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
CJ and Declan's Relationship!
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
"Roses are red, I'm a girl, Now go and take a hike."
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.