Relationship jokes
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
What did the boyfriend say to his girlfriend?
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.