Relationship jokes

Lady: I am going to come to your house.

Man: Ok.

An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

Man: You are going to cum to my house!

And then he fucks her.

I fucked your girl.

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

LONELY ORPHAN: :(

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.

My brother truly is a numbskull.

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

Your momma!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The third one's for you.

"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"

After all these walkers, you still walk over me.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Gays: I like men.

Straight: I like women.

Bisexual: A hole is a hole.

What's the difference between me and you?

I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!

Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.