Relationship jokes
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
Memes
Shitpost-master general
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Guy: Do you want a nickel?
Girl: Sure.
Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?
Girl: 😳😩😩😩
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.
How do you be friends with a musician?
B minor.
Gwen!!!!!! I need your help!!!!!!!!!!
Akeld, just want you to know: Leave me and Gwen alone.
Real me.
Hello, I am Ren, sister of Gwen.
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
GURL
"Hey Gwen, I'm back."
-Dev
"It's been so long they unblocked it!"
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
"Princess, let's talk!"