Relationship jokes

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.

Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Your love life.