Relationship jokes
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
Hollow Knight Meme
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
The thing my mom birthed.
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Yo mama joke.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
Ur dad
Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.