Relationship jokes
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Why can't orphans be gay?
There's no one to call "daddy."
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
relations-
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
I love Mekhi!
Just ask your dad.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
I love Bubba girls and yea.
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.