Relationship jokes
"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
Memes
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
No one has my back like my dad.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!