Relationship jokes
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
Your family in a nutshell.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Oh, you're jealous now.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.