Relationship jokes

Your mom gay.

"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

Also, not love everyone.

Friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Orphan Friend: Sure.

Friend: Parents.

Other: I don't get it.

Friend: And you never will.

What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?

Neither can see their parents.

Why is it good to be an orphan?

Because every bag of chips is family sized.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?

Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Freshfry, are you there? I really want to talk to you!

Love, Gwen.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Kylin fucks his sister.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!