Relationship jokes
What does an orphan's family photo called?
A selfie.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
Your mom.
Your dad!
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!
If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Daddy, harder!
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?