Relationship jokes

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.

I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

Because they have no daddy to call.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.

"You’re the milk to my cookies."

Fatherless jokes.

Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.

Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?

Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

His name is "Daddy!" HELP!

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!