My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
Relationship Jokes
You should always be happy about family and love.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
I love my dog, Sadie.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
