Relationship jokes

What is a "dad?"

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

I fucked your mom.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.

Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?

Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.

Me: So you're gonna leave me again?

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.