Relationship jokes

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?

Father's Day.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Mother!

Mother who?

It's your mother.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?

Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"

Hey Gwen, let's chat from 1:00 p.m. to 2:00! Love, Prince 🌹

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

Why don't chickens and sheep get along?

Because they have beef between them.

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.