Relationship jokes

Cameron and Pav.

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

"Gwen don't want break up! Please talk to me!"

Why did Steven Hawking die?

His wife changed the WiFi password.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Ya nan does gymnastics with her boyfriends.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

Can someone be my daddy?

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?

Super Smash Bros.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.

That's a big word for a 6 year old!

My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.

He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

Hey Stacey, love!

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.

My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."