Relationship jokes
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ur uncle. What? Is ur RBLX gf?
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish. I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.