Relationship jokes
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."