Relationship jokes
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
What do guns and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Memes
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
Kylin fucks his sister.
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.