Relationship jokes

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger-gun👉👌

Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

Because he had no body to go with.

What's the difference between sex and gender?

You can't have gender with your sister.

Me: You have terrible jokes.

Mum: Shows me a mirror.

Why are life and a penis alike?

Women make both of them hard.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

Why are all lesbians bad at math?

Because they can't multiply.