Relationship jokes

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

Why are all lesbians bad at math?

Because they can't multiply.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.

Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat-mate.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.