Relationship jokes

Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?

Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.

Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.

In tennis, 0 points is love.

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.

So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

Why are orphans' funerals so small?

They have no loved ones.

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

"Yol, what do you think about sex?"

"Good."

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!