School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Relationship Jokes
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
My brother when he sees a girl.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Official orgasm donor.
Your mom and your dad.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
