Relationship jokes
Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
You will never have a girlfriend.
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
Your dad is gone.
Mom
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"