Relationship jokes
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
I love my family.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
When an African has a twin, your me??
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!