Relationship jokes
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
The Movie
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
Mom!
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Mom!
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
"Uwu daddy."
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!