Relationship jokes
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
Why did 6 hate 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher? Because there was no chemistry...
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"