Relationship jokes
Gwen, please just come back. I love you and I miss you so much!
It's been a while since I've talked to either Prince or tj. Do any of you boys wanna chat? Plapls?
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
Your momma!
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
What can you build with people? A boat!
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)