Relationship jokes

Know what a 6.9 is?

Another good thing screwed up by a period.

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.

Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.

A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.

Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯

Friend: You can have my burrito baby.

Gay.

Friend: *begins to moan*

Me: Finna hang up.

How do you know that your sister is on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes weird.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?

Femoids.

I just wanted to write something random.

And now my wife is dead.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

You and your mom.