If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
girl- mom, meet my boyfriend mom- meet my boyfriend girls boyfriend- dad is that you are you back from the supermarket with milk mom's boyfriend- uh gtg
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.
Sometimes i wish my gf was here that way we could have some fun in my bed, the I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
Whats the worst part of a down syndrom relationship? Theres more downs then ups!
I heard my neighbours having sex and it was annoying me, so I called my gf to ask if she wanted to go out but when I called her I heard my neighbours phone ringing
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao
What did Steven Hawkins wife say to him having sex ? Your wheelie good at this
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
