Relationship jokes
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.