Relationship jokes

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!

My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?

Me: (¬‿¬)

Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!

My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger-gun👉👌

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.

Guy: Let's drop the soap.

Girl: Let's do it!