Relationship jokes
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"