Relationship

Relationship jokes

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.

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    • I was walking in the forest with my gf.

    I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

    A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

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    • Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."

    Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."

    Wife: "No, you're not...."

    My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

    Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

    That’s the best I’ve done so far.

    Boy: Hey! I love you...

    Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

    *boy sent a pic of his dic*

    Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

    Husband: Honey, do you want sex?

    Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.

    Husband: Is that your final answer?

    Wife: Mmmmm.

    Husband: Are you sure?

    Wife: Yes.

    Husband: No doubts?

    Wife: No.

    Husband staring a long time at his wife.

    Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.