Relationship jokes
He: "I love you."
Me: "I love myself too."
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.