Relationship jokes
Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not...."
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.
oOO laLA!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.