Relationship jokes

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.

What do you call an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.

Doc: Can I help you?

Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

Doc: When did it begin?

Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.

Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.

I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

If I adopt a child, is it mine?

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😳

What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

They both break your heart.

Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?

Because it's male bonding.