Relationship

Relationship jokes

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What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."

Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."

Wife: "No, you're not...."

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

Husband: Honey, do you want sex?

Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.

Husband: Is that your final answer?

Wife: Mmmmm.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: No doubts?

Wife: No.

Husband staring a long time at his wife.

Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.