Relationship jokes
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
Wade likes Luiz!
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.