If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping of a roof
Tell rumors about me but please don't say am in love relationship
So my girlfriend left me i took her weelchair and she came back crawling back
Guys help- i need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being fr rn guys help
My gf left me for spending my own money I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute she leaves me
What do you call gay parents. poly,
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Are you a gun becuse i want to live with you
A married woman asked her husband if he saw future then the husband answered her " I have no Eye dear"
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" At the butcher shop"
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, NO MORE!
3 guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet and the psycho one says "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have"
The first guy says "Ha! My girlfriend has 6! I'm racked up!" The second guy said "Eh, I am happy with 2 balls" The third guy said "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says "Bro you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?:
I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀
What does a relationship and suicidal thoughts have in common? They’ll both end soon.
So one day i have a wife but if its getting a longer day she is moving so weird and i see she has sex with rick astley😂 [rickrolled]
