Relationship jokes

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.

Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?

They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

How can you tell your best friend is gay?

His meat tastes like shit.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.

Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.