One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
