Relationship jokes
Hey Stacey, love!
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."