Relationship Jokes

"Know, know how there."

"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy."

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

Fancy playing rodeo sex?

"OK then," she said!

Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

Why can orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.