Relationship jokes
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.