Relationship jokes
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬