New Relationship Jokes - Page 117

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

So um uh I like people who like people who like people.

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."