Relationship jokes
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!