Relationship jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.