Relationship jokes
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.