Relationship jokes

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?

"Need help packing your shit?"

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Love you baby :^

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Bully: How is your girlfriend?

Me: I don't have one!

Bully: I know!

Me: How are your parents?

*Walks out of orphanage*

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.