Relationship jokes
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Todoroki POV: Deku = femboy.
Deku POV: Todoroki = big 8=====D.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Wives are like grenades. Pull the ring, and the house is gone.
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.