Relationship jokes
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Todoroki POV: Deku = femboy.
Deku POV: Todoroki = big 8=====D.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Wives are like grenades. Pull the ring, and the house is gone.
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.