Relationship jokes
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
I bet you like men!
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Why don't orphans call...
Because they can't call home.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."