Relationship jokes

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"

Because they have no mom.

Like if you wanna have sex.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?

A: A family portrait.

Where was your mom last night? In the man club?

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.

I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.

Why does my brother have no mom?

If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?

"Herishy, me lava u, why did u leave mee? Wahh wahh baby sharka, doodle do to to babyyy cutie pie..."

"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."

I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.

Why did your parents abandon you?

Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."