Relationship jokes

Oh, brother!

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I pregnoot.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Mert has no dad.

Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

What do you call your dad?

You don't. Hahahahaha!

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.