Relationship jokes
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
I don't know, I don't have one.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
Like if you wanna have sex.