Red jokes

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.

Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

Roses are red, Justin Bieber is gay, But most importantly, You know de way.

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

Roses are red, I reload fast...

I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!

What is black, white, and red all over?

My third wife.

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!

Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?

Babies in a blender.