Red jokes
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
Blue sky at night, day.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
My field trip at school earlier:
Little Timmy (angrily): "I WANT MY IPAD!"
Ms. Melina: "We can have it at school if you turn your day around."
Little Timmy: "BUT I WANT IT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"
Ms. Melina: "But we're heading back to school."
Little Timmy: "B**TCH, I HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING HOME!"
Little Timmy *starts banging the bus window*
Little Timmy: "THAT’S IT, I F**KING HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING TO CANADA!"
Ms. Melina: "TIMMY, STOP IT! THE SCHOOL IS GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT WINDOW IF YOU BREAK IT!"
Me: "Let’s just tell his family to move to Shadow Bay anyways because Red Oaks would be so f**king good for him."
*Window breaks*
Ms. Melina: "STOP THAT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"
Little Timmy: "BUT JEFFY AND JUNIOR ARE PICKING ME UP AND TAKING ME TO F**KING CANADA RIGHT NOW! LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!"
Ms. Melina: "THAT’S IT TIMMY, YOU'RE SO F**KING BUSTED! I’M CALLING MS. ALEJANDRA RIGHT NOW!"
The end.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!