Red jokes

What is red, pink, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

What is green, brown, and goes round and round?

The same baby 3 weeks later.

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

Roses are red, lemons are sour.

Open your legs and give me an hour.

"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What’s big, red, and eats rocks?

A big, red, rock eater.

Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.