The other day my Girlfriend asked me to hand her, the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
roses are red, i like weed, if you say yes then i'll do a "good deed"
What is smal, red and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former soviet union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Roses are red, Violets are Violet. I mean, come on it's literally in the name!
Whatâs black and white and red all over?â âA crushed nun!â
âWhatâs that black stuff between an elephants toes?â Slow natives.â
I wore a purple outfit to school and sum indian kid called me thanos so I called him vision and tryed pulling the red dot off his head.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace
What's young, red and hot ptsd?
Prince Andrew victims
Roses are red, violets are blue; bloodâs thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR. OPEN YOUR LEGS AND GIVE ME AN HOUR.
KIK:hangtherule
Roses are red Violets are blue Atoms are small But so are you
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard
When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
In America they was a boy named urhan and he had one hand and a stump and a girl named handa who was a orphan, they had a trial for Boston red socks and they failed because urhan couldnât stump the ball and handa didnât know where home was.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
