Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"
He didn't realize what was about to happen.
"That's what she said!"
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
That camping trip was in-tents.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
