Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she is a dumb b*tch!
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
Having sex while camping is fucking in-tents.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
